Let’s be honest - going anywhere with a young child can be a struggle. I’ll admit, I start out by being the nice parent and letting my toddler know that we must leave or go somewhere with 15, 10, and 5 minute-reminders. When he still whines about leaving for school in the morning or leaving the playground, I turn to negotiating. When that fails too, I end up carrying a screaming toddler to the car and wrestling him into the car seat.

If this same thing happens to you, especially in the mornings, you know it is not a good start to the day for either you or your child - but what else can you do when you must go to work, and your child needs to be on time? There are no absolute solutions, and every child is different, but I did find a few tips that can help:

• Preparation can be a huge help. Does your child prefer to run downstairs in the morning for breakfast or have a few minutes of playtime? Bring the toothbrush and clothes downstairs and lay them out the night before. Does your child wait until the last possible moment to put on their shoes? Lay them out by the front door, along with a place for them to sit to get them on and off. Does your child need a snack for the car ride? Have the snacks ready to go. By setting your home up for success, you set yourself up for success.



• Allow yourself more time in the morning. I know this is easier said than done but waking up a few minutes early to get yourself ready, or waking up the kids a few minutes early, can leave time for last minute “emergencies” (such as a lost sock or jacket) and make the morning feel more relaxed.

• Give your child more independence. Teach them how to tie their shoes or zip up their jackets. Have them pack their lunches and schoolbags the night before. Any small step that can help cut down on frustrated cries of “help me!” will do wonders for the morning rush. Also, don’t be afraid to improvise- is tying shoes too hard? Buy some shoes with Velcro straps.

• Give time to switch gears. It is very tempting to ask your child to please hurry up, or to pull their jacket on yourself when you see they’re struggling. But interrupting a child can feel like having another adult pull a phone out of your hand while you are in the middle of an important text message. As tough as it can be when the clock is ticking, allow your child to finish what they are doing. It will cut down on tears and tantrums - however, if they are REALLY not listening, a time reminder can be useful (“We need to leave in five minutes. Please start finishing with your toys and find somewhere to put it until we get back”).

• Take a deep breath. Mornings are tough, but everyone will get to where they need to be eventually, and all the tips above, plus steady routines, will help. Remember that you are doing an excellent job and the goal is for everyone to have a smooth day.

There are lots of other ideas out there for how to get going in the morning, ranging from morning checklists to using clocks and timers. Remaining calm can be hard when you must get to work and your child is still finishing breakfast at 8:45. Talk with your child (“You wish you could stay home and play today, huh?”), but stay firm. Applaud your children when they are ready and provide encouragement to keep it going. There will always be mornings here and there that are filled with craziness, but you will get through it, and your child will too.