As parents and caregivers, we naturally want our children to succeed in everything they do. However, learning how to overcome setbacks is also a valuable skill. When kids know that everyone struggles sometimes, even grown-ups, they’ll be able to gain the self-confidence to try again. Whether it’s learning how to ride a bike, completing homework, or reading a new book, it helps that we guide our children and teach them if they don’t succeed the first time, to try again! Celebrating success while managing expectations and high emotions can be challenging. Some of the tips below may be helpful in making sure your child is confident in school and in life!

Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Between the ages of 3 and 5, kids start to develop of sense of self and how they fit into the world around them. By building their self-esteem and self-confidence at this stage, we can teach kids how to believe in themselves and show them that they are important. Here are some ways to help boost their self-esteem:

• Let them lead. Encourage children to engage in self-directed (or independent) play. This will encourage them to come up with their own ideas and will give them more confidence when playing with friends in the classroom.

• Notice their efforts. Point out and celebrate when you see your child working hard at something. This can help them enjoy themselves in the moment, rather than focusing on the outcome of their goal.

• Model confidence yourself; set a good example for your kids by showing them that not everything has to be perfect. You can tell them that you get frustrated too, but that it is important to learn from mistakes and try again!

It’s Okay to Make Mistakes! Celebrating Disappointments and Successes

Learning new things can be frustrating! A little empathy goes a long way to help kids gather their courage to try again. Let your kids know that it’s okay to feel frustrated, and either offer suggestions on how they can try again or suggest taking a break. For example, if they were building a big block tower which then fell over, your child may need to wait until they are less frustrated before trying again. Calming big emotions often needs to happen before children can problem-solve. When they do succeed in building a big tower, you can celebrate their achievement! You can also:

• Use descriptive praise to show kids that you are giving them your full attention and that you see how hard they’re working. For example, instead of “Good work!” try “Good work figuring out how to share your toy with your friend!”

• Help your child focus on what has gone well rather than what went wrong. If they were practicing riding a bike, but kept falling over, stay positive; let them know you’re proud of them for learning a new skill and that you can see they’re working hard.

• Continue showing unconditional love and share that love often. Tell your kids that you are proud of what they accomplished and of who they are. By sharing our love, their confidence will soar! 

How Confidence Can Help in the Classroom

When kids work through challenges, both big and small, they are building skills needed to learn how to persevere in a task. This isn’t a skill that kids are born with, but rather, one that they develop as they continue to experience and practice new things throughout their life. Learning how to keep going will be helpful in school classrooms as kids encounter new subjects and new tasks. 

When children can name goals that they want to accomplish (for instance, reading a chapter book for the first time, or figuring out a math problem on their own), it will help them to focus their attention, and find ways that they can reach their goal. Learning that results aren’t always right away and that some things take extra effort is an important skill that will help them thrive as they learn.

When kids have opportunities to learn and succeed, they will feel confident to take on bigger challenges as they grow. Whatever children do, when they have the love and support of caring adults by their side, they will do great things- from preschool all the way through life!

For more parenting tips and ideas, keep up with with our Family Resources page and stay tuned for future workshops that will help your child to grow and succeed.