As parents and caregivers, we all strive to raise positive, cooperative, kind children. But kids will be kids, and the reality is that tantrums, challenging behavior, and power struggles will pop up. With the right tips and encouragement, we can help our children build positive behavior habits that will help them throughout their life. Research shows that positive behavior starts with strong relationships- when children feel loved and safe, they are more likely to cooperate. Acknowledge Their Behavior Catch your child being good! When you see your child engaging in good behavior, encourage them by being enthusiastic and specific. For instance, you can say, “Wow, I saw you share your toy at the park! That was such a nice thing to do!” Make eye contact, get down to their level, and show genuine interest in what your child is doing and how they are behaving. Even when your child acts up, it’s important to stay positive. For example, you can say, “I noticed you were trying hard to stay calm. That’s not easy. Next time, let’s practice stepping away and taking a deep breath.” Preparing for Challenging Behavior Kids aren’t perfect, and it’s always good to prepare if your child’s behavior goes south during an outing or playdate. Stay nearby your child so you can intervene or change locations if needed or provide two sets of the same toy (such as two balls) if you know your child is working on sharing. Sometimes a child does not yet know how to communicate their feelings, which can result in challenging behavior to get what they want. Help your child be a better communicator by talking about certain situations ahead of time (such as what to do while playing with friends or what to expect at school drop off) and reading books about other children dealing with big feelings and similar situations. Help your child with simple calm-down strategies, such as taking deep breaths when they feel frustrated, going to a quiet space in another room, or seeking support from a trusted adult. Skills for Building Positive Behavior Be specific when you want your child to display certain behaviors, such as sharing or being nice. For example, you can say “Hands are not for hitting, hands are for playing, eating, and hugging” or “Use your words. Ask for help if you are upset.” A great way to establish positive behavior in children is to practice! Have your child practice taking turns while you are playing with them, or when they’re with a sibling. You can also remind your child before playing with other kids that toys are for sharing. If there is a special toy that they don’t want to share, to put it away in a safe space. Model the behavior you want to see in your child. Kids learn more from what we do rather than what we say. Show them how to handle frustration, how to be patient, and talk about when it doesn’t go quite right. After all, even as adults, we have moments! Building positive behavior takes time and new skills emerge as your child grows. Modeling, teaching patience, and showing understanding, make it easier. It’s all about progress, not perfection, and as a parent, you are already doing a great job to help your child grow! Positive behavior will get better as your child ages and has more opportunities to practice. If you need more tips on how to address challenging behavior in children, you can connect with our Warm Line over the phone at 888-620-9190 or online at https://www.elcpalmbeach.org/warmline .

Introducing chores to your children can be a great way to build responsibility, confidence, and a sense of belonging. Children are naturally curious and love to be just like the grown-ups and big kids around them. This eagerness to help and the introduction of chores, especially when started early, can build life skills, and help your child learn to be more independent. Why Chores Are Important Chores help with skill-building, and the best chores are related to things your child will need to know in the future, such as how to make their bed, assist with laundry, or set the table for meals. Very young children can pitch in with household tasks by learning how to put away their toys. Pitching in with household tasks teaches children empathy and responsibility. It also helps them learn how to work together, solve problems, and compromise, which can help them both in the home and in the classroom at school. As children want more control over their choices, giving them chores to do can help encourage this independence and show them that daily chores and responsibilities help the rest of the family. Tips for Helping Your Child Complete Chores Make chores a part of your daily routine! Kids thrive when they have structure in their lives. For example, make it a habit for your child to make their bed and pack their backpack for school each day, or to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket each night before bed. Encourage them to do their chores at the same time each day. Let your child have some choice about the chores they want to do. For example, ask them if they want to help set the table or help clean up after dinner. Choices can help your child feel more invested in their chores. Tackle chores with your child and talk while you work together. Make it fun by putting on music while cleaning! You can also show your appreciation by thanking them and emphasizing how proud you are of them for being such big helpers! Rewards and Consequences Giving children some sort of motivation for completing chores is often needed to get the job done. Rewards can be given in the form of earned activities or an allowance that they can earn each time a job is completed. Chore charts, visual reminders, or family meetings can help children be more successful and feel a sense of accomplishment. Honest praise from a parent can be the most effective way of motivating your child to do chores! Congratulate them for their effort to complete a regular task or initiating a chore on their own without a reminder. Kids will inevitably resist doing chores, and when they do, they can begin to understand accountability and how their decisions affect them and others. For instance, when my child can’t find a certain toy, I remind him that it may be because he didn’t clean them up properly the last time he played with them. However, you can remain positive and predict success for next time- for example, you can say “Let’s try putting your toys away in their places after you’re done playing today- I know you can do it!” Remember to celebrate the little wins and praise your child’s efforts, not just the outcome. A simple “Thank you for helping!” or “You did that all by yourself!” goes a long way. Another thing to keep in mind is that chores aren’t just tasks to be completed- each job is an opportunity for growth and building confidence. The lessons children learn from completing chores early, and incorporating them into daily routines, can stick with them for life- both inside and outside the home. For more resources that are helpful for you and your family, please visit https://www.elcpalmbeach.org/family-resources .